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Charlie Biggs and me was casing this joint looking for action. I was in black pants, top and shoes so’s I’d be inconspicuous. I had my hair up under a black cap. Charlie had on his trademark pinstripe blue suit, with his $50 fedora tilted on his head, just so. Everything on Charlie had to be just so. Everybody knew Charlie. He was king of the block, knew every gin joint and whorehouse from here to Canale Street.

So me and Charlie’s standing around the roulette table, I knew it was a fix, so I didn’t have any money down, but man they were raking in the suckers that night. He whispers in my ear Kid, he says, go down the basement and check the back door, make sure nobody’s fixin’ to bust in on me. So I peel outta the room, head down the stairs to the basement, where they keep the kegs of beer and the still. I grab a bottle, take a swig, and creep up on the back door. And wouldn’t ya know it, there, tryin’ to jimmy wit’ the lock was an Avenue B hood! Them creeps on Ave. B, they was always tryin’ to make trouble, and muscle us. Their leader was this guy Nibs Malone, and he was one tough maker, you didn’t mess wit’ him.

This guy standin’ at the back door, big sucker, blond. Dammit if he wasn’t wearin’ makeup or some crap like that! He had this black stuff round his eyes, and a gold earring, like a girl! He was fiddlin’ wit’ the lock, so I though I’d help him out. I grabbed my blackjack outta my pocket, and pulled open the door, hard. This guy fell right into me, what a clod! I lifted my arm up to smash him wit’ the blackjack, when he says Don’t do it! I got an important message for Charlie…from Nibs! Guy had a Brit accent…damn limey! What, was Nibs importin’ his thugs now, nobody down Ave. B wanted to work for him anymore, the crumb?

So I says what’s your message ya limey bastard? I’ll take it to ‘em myself, before I pulverize ya. I still had the blackjack in my hand, I was ready for this jake’s tricks. He says Nibs wants a meetin’ with Charlie, wants to join up wit’ him, Dexter’s makin’ his life hell and he wants ‘im outta the way. Dexter Marbles was the head of the Jackson St. gang, he and his boys were tryin’ to take over the whole city, Charlie hated ‘im too. His boys played dirty, they all carried a shiv in their sock, razors in their hats and crap like that.

The jake was lookin’ at me really funny like. He had these big blue eyes, looked right through ya. He was wearin’ all black like me, black turtleneck sweater, black chinos, black workman’s boots. His hair was real bright, looked like someone dropped a jug a bleach on his head. Suddenly, he went for my hat, before I could stop ‘im, he pulled it right off my head! My hair fell down around my face, and I got real embarrassed. Gimme the hat back now! I says. He says I knew it! You’re a bird! What the ‘ell’s a bird doin’ workin’ for Charlie Biggs? None of your friggin business I says. He don’t have to know that Charlie’s my cousin, and he hired me so I could pay the bills after my old man kicked the bucket.

You’re a right pretty bird too he says. Don’t think I don’t know what your doin’ I says. You’re tryin’ to get out of me beatin the pulp outta ya and ya gotta go back to the boys and say you was beat up by a girl. I’m gonna yell and in two seconds all the boys is gonna be down here and we’re gonna deliver yer message alright, and then deliver you right back out into the alley where you belong limey. I knew if I yelled Snyder and Max, the bouncers, they’d be down here in two shakes.

Before I could slam ‘im wit’ the blackjack, the jake puts his hand on the back of my neck, pulls me to him and kisses me smack on the lips! It wasn’t bad...been a long time since I’d been kissed, too. So I figured what the hell, and I kissed him back. Sorta forgot where I was for a minute, and before I know it, the jake has me pinned down on the floor with my hands up over my head. My shirt came up, and he saw the gat stickin’ in my pants. I knew that wasn’t you he says. I went to try and grab for the gun, but he had my hands pretty tight. He bent his head down and butted the gun away with his head. Then he kissed my stomach! He licked my stomach! And it felt really good! I must’ve moaned or something, ‘cause he picked his head up, looked at me, and says you like that, huh? You taste really good Kid.

Then he brings his face up to mine, lies on top a me, and kisses me again on the lips, and then kind of nuzzles me with his nose against my ears. If I let yer hands go you gonna pop me one he asks me. I felt kinda dizzy and funny, like drinking too much booze or somethin’. Nah I says. So he slowly lets go a’ my arms, rests his weight on his elbows, and bends his face to kiss me again. He was leanin’ into me and his body was warm, and felt really good on mine. I kissed him back, and I felt his tongue in my mouth, which was OK wit’ me!

Then I hear these crashing footsteps comin’ down the basement stairs. Quick as a flash, I rolled over on top of ‘im, grabbed my gun, and stuck it right up against his mouth. He was so surprised he just lay there and looked at me with these big eyes. It was Snyder, the big dumb bouncer, Charlie must’ve sent him down to check on me. Ya alright Kid? He asks me. Yeah I says, not takin’ my eyes off the limey, I got one a’ Nibs’ guys says he’s got a message or somethin’. Well, spit it out, Limey! I took the gun away from his mouth but still kept it pointed at ‘im. He keeps lookin’ at me and he says Nibs wants to join up wit’ Charlie to get Dexter. Wants to meet wit’ ‘im down by the river, usual spot under the bridge. He stops talkin’, I put the gun back up to his mouth. I says to Snyder go tell Charlie the message, I’m gonna take care a’ the limey here. I cocked the gun, the limey’s eyes got bigger. Snyder says take ‘im outside if yer gonna make a mess, I ain’t cleanin’ up no blood. OK I says, get up limey. He stands up, I keep the gun on him the whole time. Snyder turns and goes back up the stairs. I hear the door close.

I says alright ya limey, you heard ‘im, out the door with ya. He looks at me, with these puppy eyes. It ain’t workin’ I says, just MOVE! I push him in the back with the nose of the gat, and I open the door with one hand, and nose him out with the other. I push him into the alley, and up against the brick wall. OK I says, put up yer hands in my meanest thug voice. He slowly puts up his hands, never stoppin’ lookin’ at my face. I’m just lookin’ at him, hard like. We got some unfinished business limey I says. Then I crack my crooked smile, tuck the gun back into my pants, grab his hands up over his head and pin em to the wall. I put my face right up against his. He’s smilin’ now too. I kiss him, hard on his mouth. Felt good. I push my body up on his like he did to me. I snaked my tongue in his mouth. Finally I pulls away, and says we gotta get outta here before someone sees us. You come back to my place, Charlie don’t come there, ‘cause he don’t go into girls’ places unless there his women, which I ain’t. But we gotta do something about your hair, ya stick out like a dame. I handed him my cap, and he put it on. He ruffled up my hair with his hand and smiled at me. Geez Kid, who’d a’ known you was such a soft touch? Then I punched him hard in the stomach. He doubled over and says what’d you do that for? I says ‘cause I ain’t a soft touch and don’t you forget it limey. I grabbed his arm and shoved him along the street. C’mon lets go I says we’re goin’ back to my place so’s I can show you why I ain’t a soft touch. He laughs and says is this gonna hurt? I says only if you want it to…

 

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