IZZARDNOIRE

THE THINGS I'D DO FOR EDDIE
by Lori-Lib

I hate to cook, I really do. I heat and eat at best.
For Eddie, though, I'd bake and broil and spice with lemon zest.

I hate to see the dentist, oh, that man is not my pal.
For Eddie, though, I'd gladly go and have a root canal.

I hate to speak before a group. I shake and sweat from stress.
For Eddie, though, I'd steel my nerves and spout a fine address.

I hate to think how much I owe to Eddie and his wit.
He's made me smile and brought me friends with whom I firmly fit.

He's also given to my life some special added zing.
Yes, for a man in heels and hose I'd do most anything.

AN ODE TO EDDIE'S PENIS
by Lori Lib (written in response to various reviews of "Lenny")

It may be short, it may be fat,
And yes, uncircumcised,
But this proud organ is attached,
To someone highly prized.

His mind is sharp, his heart is kind,
His spirit shines with strength.
There's so much more to Eddie I.
Than just his breadth and length.

When clothed his style is haute couture,
He's quite the fashion plate.
His comic talent is immense,
His acting is first rate.

And if he wields his penis,
With the skill he wields his wit,
Then Casanova'd best watch out,
For this wee, stocky Brit.