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It was still unreal. The whole experience. I'd worked long and hard on the screenplay, hoping it would be good enough to get a bit of attention. It was a big deal when I finally submitted the thing, but when I got a call back I was elated. They wanted to do the film. Best of all, they'd taken my suggestion to audition Eddie Izzard as the lead. And he'd been cast. I'd written the script with him in mind, thinking it would be the perfect part in him. He was a damaged character, depressed but trying his hardest to get back on his feet. In love but scared. A lot of intense scenes with yelling and crying, with a bit of comedy thrown in.

I'd written a small part based loosely on myself, and had been offered the part. A dream come true. A first- time screenwriter at the age of nineteen, my film was getting made, and I got to be in it with my hero. Spend time with him. Act with him. Eventually marry him... Well, maybe not. But a kid can fantasise.

I still couldn't believe it when I got to the filming site. It didn't become real to me until the cameras started rolling. I went through rehersals practically in a daze, curious as to what exactly would go on. It was never my ambition to be an actor. But I was fascinated by the whole process. I'll admit that I was staring at Eddie most of the time when I didn't have to be involved with the rehersals. He fascinated me, too. When he caught me staring he'd often smile. The second day of rehersals he had actually come up and introduced himself.

"Hello, Abraxas." He shook my hand and stared warmly into my eyes. "So, you're the child prodigy I've heard so much about." I'd never blushed so hard in my life. I smiled.

"So you liked the script then?"

"If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have taken the role. It's very good." He nodded at me and walked off to talk to the director.

We'd talked a few times since then, about nothing in particular. Films, childhood experiences, cars, music... Just stuff we liked really. I thought nothing of it, really. He talked to everyone else in the cast as well. I just hoped that he liked me even half as much as I liked him. Then one night, a week or so after filming had begun, I got a call on my mobile phone.

"Hello?" It was Eddie. I wondered how he'd gotten my number, but the question left my mind the instant he spoke.

"Abs?" He sounded awful. His voice was quiet and broken. "Can you come over? Please?"

"Sure, Eddie. I'll be right there." I hung up the phone, alarmed. I was dressed only in my Jockeys, t- shirt, and socks. I grabbed my robe off the bed, put it on hastily, and ran from my trailer. Eddie's trailer was situated on the far side of the lot and it took me a few minutes to get there. When I got to Eddie's trailer, I knocked softly on the door. When there was no answer, I knocked a bit harder. Still nothing. I checked the door. It was unlocked. I slowly opened it and ducked in, letting the door click shut behind me.

"Eddie?" I looked around. He wasn't in the front room. I checked the bedroom, if you can call it that. The trailers aren't quite as grand as we're led to believe. He wasn't in there either. The only place left to look was the bathroom. The door was partially open. I cautiously approached the door and pushed it open. There was Eddie.

"My God! Are you okay?" He looked up at me. He was bent over the toilet, completely naked and dripping in sweat. His skin had a greenish tint and he looked awful. I ran to him and knelt down. "What's wrong?" He opened his mouth to speak, then opened his eyes wide and vomited into the toilet. I rested my hand on the back of his neck. He had a serious fever going. I stood and cracked the bathroom window. "Do you want me to go and get you something? Saltines and 7up? Some medicine?"

He looked up and nodded. I found a washcloth and wet it with cold water, then wrung it out. I placed it carefully on the back of his neck. He surprised me when he spoke.

"You can take my car. My keys and wallet are on the dresser." I nodded and went into the bedroom. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I couldn't go out at nearly midnight wearing nothing but my underwear and a dressing gown. I glanced around and saw a pair of black jeans and a blue dress shirt folded over the back of a chair. After taking off my robe I grabbed and slipped into the jeans. Surprisingly, they nearly fit. I then picked up the shirt and put it on, then jammed my feet into Eddie's dress shoes, which also fit.

"Damn tits." I often wished I could've given them to Eddie. He would have more use for them. I buttoned the shirt and grabbed the wallet and keys. Then I left the bedroom and checked on Eddie again. "Anything else while I'm out?" He was slouched on the floor.

"Cigarettes?"

"I'll be right back." I turned to leave.

"Thanks, hon," Eddie said, nearly in a whisper. I bolted from the trailer to the car park. Scoping the lot, I found Eddie's car, a green Mini Cooper. I unlocked the car and got in. Firing up the ignition, music blasted from the stereo. I was slightly surprised it was the CD I had given him at the start of filming. It was my favourite album, Brian May's "Back to the Light". It was impossible to find in the USA so I'd ordered it online specially for him. I turned down the music a bit. Normally I'd sing along at the top of my lungs but that night I didn't feel up to it.

I slammed the car into gear and screeched out of the lot. I flew down the road and miraculously found a 24- hour market about ten minutes down the road. I parked the car in the nearly empty lot and ran into the store. Out of breath, I reached the register with the Saltines, a 12- pack of 7up, and some medicine for nausea.

"Can I have some cigarettes? Camel Turkish Gold, please."

The cashier was young, your typical teenage girl with a bad attitude. She chewed gum loudly.

"Can I see your ID?" I pulled Eddie's wallet out of my pocket. It was a black leather tri- fold, just like mine. I opened it up and saw Eddie's driver's licence.

"Shit. Look, I've got my friend's wallet. He's really sick and asked me to pick up some cigarettes for him. Can you please just get them?"

"What's your date of birth?"

"17th of July, 1986."

"Do you know your ID number?" I knew it because I'd needed it at work. I told her. She punched the ID number into her computer, waited a minute, and then looked at me questioningly. She sighed and went to get the cigarettes.

"Thanks," I offered when she returned. It seemed to take her years to ring up my items. I handed her some money and grabbed the groceries. Without waiting for change I ran out of the market.

When I returned to the film set, I burst into Eddie's trailer and threw the items on a chair in the front room. He was still in the bathroom, struggling to get to his feet. I was shocked how weak he looked. He seemed so small, like a child. His wet hair stuck to his face and he was shaking with the effort of trying to stand. I grasped him gently under the armpits and helped him up. Then I lowered the toilet lid and set Eddie down on it. The washcloth was on the floor. I filled a cup with cool water and held it to his mouth. He sipped some water, swished it around in his mouth, and then spat back into the cup. I emptied the cup into the sink and threw it away. I wet a new washcloth and wiped down his face, neck and chest, then cleaned off his mouth.

"How you feeling?"

"Like I've got the flu," he said, grinning weakly. "You look good in my clothes." I smiled.

"You want to go somewhere more comfortable?" He nodded. I slipped his arm around my shoulder and helped him up and into the front room. I sat him down on the couch and grabbed the stuff from the chair. Ripping open the packet of saltines, I handed him a few and then popped a can of soda for him. I gave Eddie some medicine and sat next to him, kicking off Eddie's shoes. He leaned his head on my shoulder and nibbled on a cracker.

"Do you want me to get you something to wear," I asked.

"Are you uncomfortable?" I assumed he was asking if I was offended by his nudity.

"No. We're all naked under our clothes." He smiled, taking a cigarette and lighting it.

"You're funny. Have you ever considered a career in stand- up?" I kissed the top of his head and wrapped my arms around him. "You know... Nobody's ever taken care of me like this. Except my mother." The sincerity of his words was overwhelming. I hugged him a little tighter.

"You want a massage? Just a light one," I offered. He looked at me and nodded. He turned a little so his back was to me and I began rubbing his shoulders softly. His muscles rippled as I touched them. He blew some magnificent smoke rings. After a thorough back rub, I hugged him from behind and kissed him on the neck.

"I'm glad I called you, Abs."

"I'm glad you called, too. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, a bit. I think that medicine is working. I'd like a shower now, though."

"Alright. You want me to stay here?"

"I'd like you to come with me." I got up and helped him to his feet. He stumbled ahead of me, into the bathroom. Leaning on the sink, he brushed his teeth and turned on the faucet in the shower. "Coming?"

"Into the shower," I ventured. He smiled.

"No, nothing like that. Just in case I decide to fall over or something." I grinned and took off Eddie's blue shirt. He stared at my chest as politely as he could. "I'd never have guessed you looked so nice underneath."

"Thanks, but I'd just as soon not." I pulled off the jeans, sport bra, socks, and Jockeys. I covered myself up as inconspicuously as possible.

"Interesting pants. I think I've got some just like them for blokey mode. Don't feel uncomfortable. If you were a real bloke I wouldn''t like you so much."

He stepped into the shower and held out his hand for me. I followed him in, not sure what to do. I'd never been in a situation like this before. Eddie stumbled and I caught him. That seemed to break the ice a bit. I found a bottle of shampoo and squeezed a bit onto my hand, then stood behind Eddie and began lathering it through his wet hair. He tilted his head back into the spray of water and I ran my fingers through his hair to rinse out the shampoo. He took the soap and handed it to me. I rubbed the soap across his shoulders down his back, then stepped in front of him. I washed his arms then moved to the chest. I knew he'd gotten back to his daily workout routine and it was definitely paying off. Working up a nice lather in my hands, I set the soap back in the soap dish and ran my hands over his hairless chest. He inhaled deeply as I worked my way down to his stomach. Stepping in closer to him, I reached around behind him and soaped up his rear.

"Do you mind," I whisped. He shook his head "no" and I proceeded to gently wash his nether region and legs. Standing up, I prodded him gently into the water to rinse off. He pulled me in close to him and looked into my eyes, water streaming down his face. He leaned in and gave me the softest of kisses with just a flick of the tongue. He pulled back quickly, and gave me a look of insecurity and pleading. Placing my hands around his lower back, I pressed my body into his and kissed him back. He sighed contentedly, closing his eyes.

I kissed his lips one more time before moving to the neck. All the best spots. Just below the jaw. Behind the earlobe. Where the neck joins up with the shoulders. In between the collarbones. Moving down, I followed the line down the middle of his chest, down his stomach to his belly button. And then I was overcome with a feeling I can't describe. Somewhere between sadness and extreme joy. Kneeling down, I wrapped my arms around Eddie's waist and rested my head on his stomach. Eddie reached down and ran his fingers through my hair, then lowered himself to the shower floor. I sat next to him, leaning against his chest. He hugged me tightly around the shoulders and we stayed there, in the sweetest, most innocent of positions, until the water ran cold.