10 A.M… “Quick question…is Burundi still called Burundi?” I asked through a mouthful of jam-covered toast.  “I mean, I never could keep up with the names of African countries.  Made geography a real bitch, you know?”

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at me.  “Yes…why?”

“One political coup after another.  Those countries change their names more than some people change underwear.”  This started him in a fit of giggles.  I continued.  “I could  never remember names anyway…just the color.  Egypt was always yellow, and Burkina Faso was always pink.”

Eddie was hunched over in his chair, fork still in his hand, laughing at my observation.

“Sheesh…I didn’t think my geography problem was that funny.”

He picked his head up, and tried (rather unsuccessfully) to stifle his laughter.  “Nik, I wasn’t laughing at YOU, just the point you made.  Nice frame of reference.”

I smiled, and stuck my tongue out at him.  I reached across the tray and grabbed the newspaper he’d brought upstairs and flipped through to the Arts/Theater section.  Eddie snatched it out of my hands.

“What?” I asked, taken aback.

“Don’t read it…I’d just as soon not see anything that might have a review in it.” He got up and threw it in the trash can in the bathroom.

“Eddie, I thought you told me not to care what other people thought.  That I should just accept things and be happy.”

He sighed and looked over his shoulder towards the bathroom door.  “Yes, in day-to-day life I believe that.  But not when it comes to the critics.”  He sat back down at the table and shoved a forkful of egg in his mouth.  I got up and went into the bathroom, and grabbed the newspaper out of the trash.

“You know what?  Screw the critics.  What they say is just opinion anyways.  Besides, it might not be in there after all, and I’d like to look for auditions.”  I felt sorry for him, but he needed to hear me out, and I was not going to let it slide.

“Sorry.”

I opened up the paper, and sure enough, there was a review of Eddie’s play.    I lowered it, and looked across the table.  Eddie was clanging the tines of his fork against the plate with every load of food, sighing in disgust. I started reading the review, and much to my relief, it was quite complimentary.

After I finished, I closed the paper and set it aside.  I took a couple of sips of mango juice, not taking my eyes off of  him.  I knew the anticipation was killing him.  He was fidgeting in his seat, and being far too fascinated by the food on his plate.

“It’s killing you, isn’t it?” I asked with a half-smile.  He just looked up at me and then down at the paper several times.

“Oh, bloody hell…just read the damn thing to me.  I can’t bring myself to do it.”

**********************

“…and Mr. Izzard should be proud of his performance.  This reviewer certainly is.  ‘Richard III’ is now playing at the Gielgud through the 31st. For show times, please call 0870 890 1105.”  I finished reading, and looked across the table at Eddie.  He had his fingers resting against his lips, smiling.  He looked very relieved.  “See?  Now aren’t you glad I rescued this from the bin?”

He looked at me and smiled this huge, Cheshire Cat grin.  He got up from the table and scooped me up in his arms.  “Does this tell you?”  he said, leaning in and kissing me.  He started waltzing around the room.

“Ok, Fred Astaire…now put me down before what I ate comes back up to visit.” I said, feeling slightly dizzy from the twirling.  He set me down and I tried to walk over to the bed, but teetered around the room like a drunk.  I finally managed to sit down, when I took a look at the clock.

“Yikes…I need to call Ian before he thinks I’ve been chopped up and left in a dumpster!”  I grabbed my phone out of my purse and dialed  my flat.  Luckily it was Saturday, so I didn’t have to work until late (Argh!  Paycheck time!) and he wasn’t in class.

RING-RING…RING-RING…RING-RING…

“Hello?” a groggy voice answered.

“Ian…it’s me.  I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, bu-”

“IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME, WOMAN!” he answered.  I had to hold the phone away from my ear.

“Calm down!  I’m fine.  Besides, I can’t really talk at the moment.  Let’s just say everything is fine, ok?”  I looked over at Eddie, and he smiled. He stood up and started dancing in a very “Chippendales”, yet very disturbing way.  He started unbuttoning his shirt and shaking his butt.  It was almost impossible to keep a straight face watching him.  I motioned for him to stop, but he took his shirt off, twirling it over his head like a lasso.

“Ian, I’m fine…Stop it!” I tried to talk to two people at once, not an easy thing to do on the phone.  “Yes, yes Ian, I know…I should’ve called soo--Yes, I was responsible.  EDDIE!!!”  He was now unzipping his jeans, performing rather crude, albeit rather sexy pelvic thrusts in my direction. “Just be careful, that’s all I ask.” Ian said, sounding concerned.

“I will be, you know that.  Now what happened with you and that red-head I saw you chatting up last night?” I asked, turning the tables on him. Eddie was now in just his underwear, moving closer to me.

“I-um, well...She is a nice girl.  Very nice actually.” Ian stuttered, sounding more than just a bit embarrassed at my question.  “Um, well…ah…I better go.  Talk to you later, Nik, k?” and with that, he hung up. Works every time.  I try to nib my nose into his personal life, he shuts down.  Oh well.  I didn’t care at that moment anyway.  Eddie was now giving me a lap dance, and I wanted to enjoy every minute.

“So, sexy lady, what’s your pleasure?” he asked me in a mock-New York accent, proving with his dance that indeed, white men have no rhythm.

I spun him around and whispered in his ear, “You, big boy.”  He looked down at me, and we both burst out laughing.  He flung himself down on top of me and started tickling me.  “ I need to read you good reviews all the time, don’t I?” I said, between fits of laughter.

“No…just this once, I promise,” Eddie said, leaning over me.  He brushed my hair out of my face and smiled tenderly.  “Nik, would you come with me to the theater today?  I could use some moral support.”

“Ooh, can I pose as a reporter and ask you sordid questions?!?” I asked, rubbing my palms together in a sinister fashion.

He laughed.  “Cheeky monkey.  Nah, I’d just like to have you there with me. I’d like you to meet the cast.”

I was shocked.  Here it had been less than 24 hours, we had already spent a passion-filled night together and now he wanted me to accompany him to a press conference?  Wow.  “Um, sure Eddie.  If you don’t think the press will get the wrong idea.”

A look of concern came over his face.  “Wrong idea?  How do you mean?”

“Well, you’re a big celebrity.  What if they ambush and interrogate us like ‘Bennifer’?  I’m not really hip to being all over the tabloids.”

His beautiful blue eyes looked deeply into mine.  “ I would never put you in that situation.  It’s not my style.  Besides, you don’t have to be in the room with us.  I just want to know you’re close by, that’s all.”

I felt a sense of relief.  “Oh, ok.  Then yes, I’d be glad to join you.”  I pulled him close to me and gave him a long hug.  He started kissing the side of my neck and my shoulder, and I felt the buttons on the front of my pajamas being unfastened.   Needless to say we spent the rest of  the morning upstairs.

************************

1:15 P.M….BANG  BANG   BANG   BANG

Eddie was pounding on the heavy steel stage door at the theater.  “Oh, come on!  Someone has to be here!  Ken said 1:00 and its 1:15 already,” Eddie sneered, growing more disgusted with every passing minute.

I was standing behind him, holding his hand, periodically glancing over my shoulder to see if some stray photographer was going to pounce.  All of a sudden, I saw a man with a huge black bag, which looked suspiciously like a camera bag, turning down the little alley and heading right towards us.

“Eddie…Eddie!” I whispered.  “Twelve o’clock!”  He turned around and his eyes got very big.  He grabbed my hand tighter and started banging on the door again.  The guy couldn’t have been more than 20 feet away when the stage door opened and Eddie dragged me inside.  The door slammed behind us, and he ushered me quickly into the backstage tangle of hallways and rooms.  We could still hear the guy pounding on the door, yelling Eddie’s name.

The further we wandered into the theater, the more relaxed we both became.  I took the time to really observe all the amazing things the Geilgud had to offer.  I gazed upwards at the mass of lighting rigs, the ropes that controlled all the curtains and the mesh backdrops.  I suddenly felt completely comfortable but also completely overwhelmed.  Here I was in one of the premier theater venues in all of England.  I was in heaven.

“Hey, close your eyes,” Eddie whispered in my ear.  I turned and gave him a curious look.  “Just do it, silly girl.”

I shrugged my shoulders and closed my eyes.  I felt his hand on the small of my back as he guided me around the back hallway.  I tripped over some rigging rope, but managed to keep my balance.  Eddie continued steering me, until suddenly we came to a stop.

“Now, stay right here.  And keep your eyes closed!”  Eddie said, his footsteps growing fainter.  Where was he going?  I heard two loud clunking noises, and he yelled at me “Now open them!”

What I saw took my breath away.  There I was, standing center stage at the Geilgud.  The sets from his play surrounded me.  He had turned on the stage lights, and past their glare I looked out at the darkened, empty house. It was amazing.  When my eyes had adjusted to the contrast, I walked out onto the proscenium.  I noticed that there were three levels to the theater, each one probably sat 200.  I had never been in a theater of this size, and was glorying in the atmosphere of the place.

My reverie was only broken when I heard the clicking of Eddie’s heels on the wooden stage growing closer and louder.  He slid his arms around my waist and  rested his chin on my shoulder.  “So, you like?” he asked.  At this point I was grinning like crazy, and had goose bumps all over.

I turned around and wrapped my arms around him.  “Yes, I love it.  Thank you so much.”  He took one hand and lifted my head towards him, and our lips met in a gentle kiss.

“I’m glad, Nik.  I thought you might enjoy seeing this.”  He smiled tenderly and pulled me close.  “I know I did.”

I looked up at him in surprise.  “How did you enjoy it?” I asked.

“Darling, just seeing the joy on your face made it all worthwhile,” Eddie said wistfully.  “It’s rare that you see someone who loves something as much as you do.  Only someone who loves to perform could have the reaction you just did.  It’s the same reaction I feel when I do shows.  It never gets old.”

I pulled him close again, and we held each other right there, in the middle of the stage.  After several minutes, Eddie’s director, Ken Whittcombe came into the theater.

“AHEM!”

Eddie looked up.  “Oh, hey Ken.  Is it time?” The director nodded.  Eddie grabbed my hand, and led me down from the stage.  We made our way through the house to the door that lead out to the lobby.

He stopped suddenly and told Ken he’d be there in a minute.  He turned to me and kissed my cheek.  “Now, just hang in here for a bit, and I’ll come and get you as soon as this is over.  I want you to meet everyone.”  I nodded, and  sat down next to the door.  Eddie smoothed out his velvet suit coat and stood up straight.  “Inspection time.  Will I pass?”

I smiled. “If the crowd’s big enough.”  He leaned down and kissed me again, then flew out the door to meet up with the cast.

************************

3:00 P.M…So, there I was, sitting in wait for Eddie in the empty house of the Gielgud Theater.  I had already called Lydia and told her I would be a little late to hand out checks (I didn’t have to be there, but she always needed help sorting out who was who in payroll), and had called Ian to let him know that I was still alive and quite well.  He was heading out to meet January (the red-head) for afternoon tea.

“January?  Was that the month she was born or the month she was conceived?” I asked Ian.

“Smart ass.  I happen to think it’s a rather… interesting name.”

I started laughing.  “Ooooh…Ian and January sittin’ in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G--”

“Oh shut up.  Just enjoy your little, well…whatever it is.  I’ll talk to you later.  And he hung up.  Some people just can’t take a joke, you know?  Oh well.  I still love him.  I think that’s why we always got along.  He (tried to) keep me grounded, and I made him loosen up.

As I sat there gazing up at the stage, I dreamt of what it would be like to perform in a place like this.  The prestige, the honor.  I looked around to make sure there was no one else around, and seeing it was clear, I headed back up towards the stage.  I walked around to get a feel for the entire stage, and took a spot on down-stage left.  I figured I’d test out a little of “Richard III” to see how it felt.  I still had a monologue memorized from high school.

“Foul devil, for God's sake hence, and trouble us not, For thou hast made the happy earth thy hell, Filled it with cursing cries and deep exclaims. If thou delight to view thy heinous deeds, Behold this pattern of thy butcheries.”

Wow, this was sooooo cool!  I regained my composure and continued.

“O, gentlemen, see! See dead Henry's wounds Open their congealed mouths and bleed afresh! Blush, blush, thou lump of foul deformity; For 'tis thy presence that exhales this blood From cold and empty veins where no blood dwells. Thy deeds inhuman and unnatural Provokes this deluge most unnatural.”

I was so into the part that I hadn’t realized that Eddie’s press junket was over, and he had come back into the theater with several fellow cast members.

“O God, which this blood mad'st, revenge his death! O earth, which this blood drink'st, revenge his death! Either heav'n with lightning strike the murd'rer dead; Or earth gape open wide and eat him quick, As thou dost swallow up this good king's blood Which his hell-governed arm hath butchered!”

I finished, only to be startled by enthusiastic applause and whistles from the audience that had gathered.

“See, guys!  I told you she was good!”  Eddie said proudly.  He turned and smiled at me.  I was turning a more and more obvious shade of red, and hopped off the front of the stage.  The group walked towards me, and I just stood there with a frightened smile and eyes as big as saucers.

“You were wonderful, sweetie,” Eddie said, pulling me towards him and kissing the top of my head.  “Everyone, this is Nik.”

I waved and managed to squeak out a “hello”.  But the other actors were all really nice and congratulated me on my attempt at Shakespeare.  Eddie introduced them to me one at a time.

“And this is Rachel, whose monologue you just performed,” he said, pointing towards a statuesque blonde.  She reached out her hand and shook mine.

“Wow, you were really good.  I could use a few pointers!” she said, smiling.

“Oh, I doubt that.  I’m not entirely sure if I remembered the whole thing!” I laughed.   “Oh, how stupid!  I was so wrapped up in attempting Shakespeare that I left my stuff over by the door! ” I excused myself and ran back to my seat, grabbing my jacket and bag.  As I headed back, I noticed Eddie talking secretly to some of the actors.  They were nodding and smiling, but when Eddie caught sight of me coming towards them, they stopped talking.  He had a devious grin on his face, nonetheless.

Eddie took my hand.  “Well guys, I guess we’d better get going.  See you all tonight, then?”  he said.  They all nodded or replied yes, and headed off in their different directions.  I waved, and we walked back towards the stage door, first peeking out of the peephole to make sure no one was waiting to ambush us in the alley.  It was all clear, so we left the theater and headed towards a waiting taxi.

***************************

Riding down Charring Cross, I suddenly remembered I had to pop back into hADRIAN’S to get my paycheck and help Lydia out.  Eddie looked a little upset, but leaned over the seat and told the driver where to drop me off.

“I want to thank you again so much for everything,” I said.  Eddie took my hand in his and kissed it.

“No problem,” he said, sounding a little sad.

“What is it?  What’s wrong?”

He gave me a sort of half-smile.  “Oh, nothing.  I just really wanted to spend more time with you before I had to go back tonight.  Are you sure you have to work?”

I nodded.  “Yes, I am. But it’s only for a couple of hours.  That’s all.”

All of a sudden, a light bulb of sorts must’ve gone off in his head.  “Ok,” he started. “Could you come to the show tonight?”

“Well, what time?” I asked.

He looked at his watch.  “How about I have a cab pick you up at the restaurant at 6?  The show doesn’t start until 9.”

I smiled.  “That would be great.  But I do need to go back to my flat and change, clean up and get ready.”

He shook his head and patted my hand.  “Don’t you worry about that.  I’ve got that taken care of.”  I was a little taken aback, but I agreed.

The cab stopped in front of the restaurant, and Eddie got out and came around to open my door.  We kissed, and he said, “Remember, 6.  Got it?” He looked in the restaurant window, and gave a little wave towards it.

“Yes, sir!” I said, saluting.  He smacked my butt playfully and stuck his tongue out at me.  I waved and ran into the restaurant.  Lydia was sitting at the end of the bar, mouth agape.

“Nik…was that who I thought it was?”

I shrugged.  “I don’t know, Lyd.  Who did you think it was?”

She shook her head furiously.  “Nah, no way.  It couldn’t have been.”

“Couldn’t have been who?” I prodded, amused by her confusion.

She looked up at me with wide eyes.  “I could’ve sworn,” she started whispering, “that was Eddie Izzard!”

I gave her a sly wink and she went nuts.

“Oh  my GOD, Nik!  You just got out of a cab with Eddie Izzard!”  She was jumping up and down, absolutely freaking out.

“Calm down, Lyd!  Calm down!” I told her, although it was hard for her, I’m sure.  She’s the animated type.  “I met him yesterday after you left.  He came in here to wait out the storm.”

Her face dropped.  “You mean I missed him by just a couple bloody minutes!”  I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction.

“Oh, forget it!  Just tell me what happened!”  Like I said, she’s like my sister and the best female friend I have, and I had to tell someone.  So, I told her all about the previous day’s exploits.

*************************

5:45 P.M… “Wow, Nik.  That is so amazing, and I am soooo jealous!” Lydia sighed, propping her head up on one arm, glazed look in her eyes.  “He’s really THAT good in bed?”

I grinned wickedly and nodded.

“I really need to find a TV then, eh?” she said.  I snapped a towel at her, and we both errupted in fits of giggles.  I looked up at the clock, and thanked god that everyone had come to get their checks early.  The last thing I wanted was a bunch of gossipy co-workers standing around when the cab came.

“So, what do you think he’s got up his sleeve, Lyd?” I asked, taking a look at myself in the mirror behind the bar.  I looked tired, but happy.  I checked the water in the vase of roses Eddie had brought me last night, and added a cupful just to be on the safe side.

“Oooh, I dunno,” she replied, putting a lot of thought into it.  “Maybe he’s going to have the cab take you to Harvey Nichols and spoil you with a beautiful dress and full makeover!”

I laughed at the thought of the posh shop assistants hustling around, trying to cater to my every whim.  “Nice dream, Lyd,” I answered.  “Like that’s going to happen!”  But I really did wonder what Eddie had set up.  And what on earth could he have been discussing with his cast mates?   Lydia grabbed her things and headed out, but not before giving me a congratulatory hug and a “good luck”.

She had just closed the door behind her when I noticed her waving manically and pointing towards the street.  I looked out and there was a classic Rolls Royce…shiny and black, looking like something out of an auto museum.  I threw the last piece of trash in the bin and turned off the lights.  With my things in hand, I headed out the door and locked it behind me.  The driver, in full chauffeur’s uniform, came up to me.

“Miss Caudill?”

I nodded.  He asked for my bag and my jacket, and I handed them to him.  He then walked over to the rear door and opened it.  He set them gingerly on the rear-facing seat, and then extended his hand to me.  I took it cautiously.  He helped me into the back of the taxi, and closed the door behind me.  I saw a small note card on the back seat next to me with my name on it.  I picked it up and opened it.

I closed it and held it against my chest.  “What on earth is he doing?” I thought to myself.  I leaned across and tapped gently on the pane of glass separating me from the driver.  He rolled it down.

“Yes, Miss Caudill?”  Wow, even this driver sounded like he could pass for a member of the House of Lords.

“Um, where exactly are we going, sir?”

He laughed a little and said, “I’m sorry, Miss.  If I told you that, I’d have to kill you.”

“Oh,” I said.  Smart ass.  “Well, can you at least tell me how much longer we’ll be on the road?”

“It shouldn’t be too much longer, Miss.”  He hit a switch and the window rolled back up.  I sat back and decided I might as well enjoy the ride.  I looked out and watched the buildings and cars we passed by, and fiddled with the corners of the note Eddie had written me.  For some reason, I started singing to myself.  It was a song I hadn’t thought of in years…not since I was a little girl.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows And what’s on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions And rainbows have nothing to hide…

I was watching the sights of London pass by, when the Rolls came to a stop.  I looked out the drivers’ side window and we had stopped in front of a large, white concrete building.  I looked up at the doorway and started laughing.

We were parked right in front of Harvey Nichols.

The driver got out and opened the door.  I was still laughing and he gave me an odd look.

“Don’t *snort* ask!”  I gathered what I could of my composure and grabbed my things.  I took his extended hand again and rose out of the backseat.

I stifled my laughter and smoothed my now very wrinkled clothes as best I could and turned to the chauffeur.

“Are you going to wait here, or do I need to call for you to come back?”  He simply smiled and shooed me towards the front doors.  But when I got there, they were locked.  I turned and blew a piece of hair out of my face, and was about to head back for the car, but it was gone.

“Ok, this is too weird,” I said, looking in the doors of the store.  Not a soul seemed to be in there.  And late afternoon on a Saturday is prime shopping time in London.  This was very strange.  I knocked a couple of times just to be sure, but when they went unanswered, I turned and started fumbling through my purse for my mobile.  All of a sudden I heard a lock being thrown, and the doors opened.

“Excuse me,” a voice said, barely audible over the traffic.  “Are you Miss Caudill?”

I turned and saw an older woman, very well-dressed, motioning me back to the store.

“Yes, ma’am,” I answered, putting my phone back in my purse.  She smiled, and opened the door wider.

“We’ve been expecting you.  Sorry about the doors being locked.”  She ushered me in and  closed and locked the door behind us.  I looked around at the surroundings.  Much more subtle and comfortable than the gaudy, tacky interior at Mimi’s.  Another saleswoman, dressed in the same black suit and white blouse as the other woman came over and took my coat and my bag.

“Oh, if only Lydia could see this!” I thought.

“Miss Caudill, I’m Rona, and that’s Tracy.” the older woman said.  “Myself and the other girls, we are all here to help you out today.  It’s my understanding that you have a special night planned tonight, hmmm?”

I was amazed at how friendly she was.  “Well, yes.  I guess I do.”  I didn’t quite know what to think.  Here I was, standing in one of the most exclusive stores in all of London, maybe in the whole of the UK, when this time yesterday, I was asleep in my rather un-glamorous flat, about to pull a second shift at work.  I smiled at Rona and decided that I might as well enjoy the moment.

“I do have a question, Rona.”

“Anything at all.  What is it?”

I motioned for her to lean in closer.  “Did Mr. Izzard have anything to do with this?” I inquired.

She leaned back, smiled and nodded.

I sighed and smiled.  “Damn you, Eddie.  This is too much.”

*************************

7:00 P.M… So there I was, sitting in a showroom at Harvey Nichols, the store having been closed for a “private shopping expedition”, as Rona put it.  And she really was helpful.  Already, a beautiful array of outfits had been brought out, all of them in my size.  Apparently, Eddie had gotten it from my clothing that laid strewn about his home the night before and called the store to arrange all this.

As I ran my fingers over the delicate materials and beading, I sighed.  “Rona, you have to know.  I’m just a restaurant manager.  I can’t afford this sort of stuff.”  I felt a little embarrassed to be admitting it, but she patted my shoulder.

“Nik, you aren’t paying for this.  Mr. Izzard said he was going to cover anything and everything you wanted.  I wasn’t supposed to tell you, so don’t let him know you know, ok?” she said, letting a little giggle escape.

I was shocked.  “Bu-What?  Why?”  I blurted out.  He barely knew me!  How could it be that he wanted to spend money on me like this?  I couldn’t grasp the concept.  I mean, here I was an American ex-patriot raised in rural Virginia and northern Ohio.  I was the daughter of a couple of beatnik-artsy types.  I was not accustomed to this type of lavishness.

Rona simply smiled and sat me down on the sofa.  “Sweetheart, I know it’s a lot to grasp.  But I spoke to Eddie personally.  He spoke very highly of you, and he said that you deserved all of this.  He also said that you‘d probably put up a bit of a fight when you got here.”  She smiled and patted my hand.  “If I were you, I’d enjoy it.  Especially if a gentleman were to think that much of me.”

She was right.  I was still a little hesitant, but why else would he have done this if he didn’t care?  I sighed, and then sat up straight.  “Ok, Rona.  Let’s go.”

**************************

After much debate (and an impromptu tailoring by the staff…amazing what they will do), I had decided on an emerald green Stella McCartney top, with a black suit by Dolce & Gabbana.  Then there was the addition of strappy silver high-heeled sandals (ones that matched the accents on the top).  Tracy had brought up some coordinating lingerie, and another shop girl, Chloe, stood by waiting to do my hair and makeup.

I went into the changing room to get dressed, when I heard a phone ring.  I heard Rona pick it up, but didn’t think anything of it until I heard her greeting.

“Hello, Mr. Izzard.”

I gasped, and moved closer to the curtain in an attempt to eavesdrop on her side of the conversation.

“Yes, she arrived on time…Yes, she has…Oh, just a bit, sir…You do?  Ok…the one we discussed earlier?”

“The WHAT one they discussed earlier?” I said to myself, standing in my underwear with my ear right against the curtain.  Oh, I hoped I wouldn’t lose my balance.  What a grand entrance that would be.

“Oh I’m sure she’ll love it, Mr. Izzard…You have excellent taste…Thank you, and congratulations on your play.  Have a good night…Thank you.”  And with that, she hung up the phone.

“How is everything in there, Nik?” she asked.  I scurried back towards the back of the room.

“Fine, fine Rona.  Thank you.” I said fumbling to get away from the curtain.

“Everything fitting well?”

“Yes, yes” I squeaked.

“Nik, I just have to pop downstairs for a moment, if you need anything Tracy will be right here.”

“Thank you.”

I heard her leave, and proceeded to shed my old clothing for the new.  My hands were shaking.  I was worried at the prospect of what it was that Eddie was having Rona get for me.  But I decided to put it to the back of my mind and focus on making sure my clothes fit.  Sure enough, they had hemmed the pants perfectly, and the underwear Tracy picked out was invisible under the clothes.  The top was a perfect fit as well.  The silk hung better than I ever thought it would, and the color of the top brought out the green in my eyes like never before.

I slid into the strappy shoes and took a look in the mirror.  I barely recognized myself.  I stepped out of the changing room, and Tracy and Chloe smiled and cooed at how lovely I looked.  I couldn’t help but feel beautiful…and for me, that’s a major feat.

Chloe sat me down on the sofa and began brushing through my hair.  She twirled it around and in no time had it pinned up in a perfect updo, tiny tendrils of loose hair framing my face and neck.  A quick spritz of finishing spray and it was done.  Then, she started in on my makeup.  Just a bit of foundation and highlighter, a pale rose cream blush and a light dusting of powder.  She lined my eyes in a light charcoal liner, and my lids were colored with a pale silver.  She put just the tiniest bit of mascara on my lashes and finished with a warm, rosy lip color.  Chloe gave me a satisfied nod and grin, and handed me a mirror.

I looked like a movie star.  It was amazing.  All I could do was smile and thank her, to which she simply said, “This is why I love my job.”

The three of us were sitting on the sofa, talking about music and the latest celebrity gossip when Rona appeared in the doorway carrying a small box.  Tracy and Chloe looked at each other and smiled, and got up from the sofa.  Rona stopped right in front of me, and said “Nik, Eddie called just a little bit ago.”  I nodded, and she continued.  “He wanted you to have this.”

She opened the box, and inside was a necklace consisting of a single pendant on a delicate chain.  It was set with diamonds and a single bright green emerald.  It looked like a piece of estate jewelry, filigreed and shining.  There was a pair of matching earrings inside as well.

I looked up at Rona, and she smiled.  “This…this can’t possibly be for me.”

She nodded, and said “Nik, he wants you to have this.”  She took it out of the box and walked behind me.  All of a sudden, there were her hands on either side of my neck, lowering the necklace into place.  She fastened the clasp and ushered me to the mirror I had been standing in front of only moments before.  I stood up and went over to the mirror, putting the earrings on.

I couldn’t believe this.  This was far too good to be true.  I mean, all of this…When Eddie said he wanted me in his life, I was more than happy to be there.  But I had no idea it would entail all of this.  I felt tears welling up in my eyes,  but Chloe was there in a flash armed with a tissue.  I blotted my eyes, careful not to smudge my makeup.

“Nik, you look beautiful.  You’re gonna blow him away,” Tracy said.  I stood there, smiling but still deathly afraid.  What if he decided I wasn’t worth this after all?  What if I made a total fool of myself?

I didn’t have time to think about it for long, because Rona grabbed my suit jacket, outer jacket and purse and motioned for me to follow her downstairs. I gave Tracy and Chloe each a hug and thanked them for everything. They told me to come back anytime, and I promised I would.  Even if I couldn’t afford these clothes, I still would love to visit them again.  I waved one last goodbye, and followed Rona down the stairs to the lobby.

She helped me into my jackets, and handed me a purse.  “Nik, darling, this has been a wonderful opportunity.  Now go out there and knock his knickers off!” she exclaimed with a wink.  I gave her a quick hug, and headed out to the waiting taxi.  The chauffeur from earlier today was there, and when I came out, gave an appreciative whistle.

“Miss Caudill!  You look amazing!”

I smiled and curtsied.  “Thank you!  To the theater we go!”

“Yes, indeed,” he said as he helped me into the car.

I sat back in the seat, still feeling the pangs of guilt, but in the end, my feelings of happiness won out.

**************************

8:45 P.M… The Rolls-Royce pulled to a gentle halt under the marquee at the Gielgud.  I peered out of the window and looked out at the crowd of people still filing in.  I let out a sigh, and took one last look at myself in my compact mirror.  I clicked it shut and looked up at the driver.

“Are you ready, Miss?”  he asked, looking at me in the rear-view mirror.

I nodded.  “Certainly.  Let’s go!”  He turned the car off, got out and came around to open my door.  He helped  me out as I gingerly stepped onto the sidewalk.  There were a few second-takes, a couple of “ooohs”, but I was too wrapped up in nerves to acknowledge them.  The driver handed me my bag, and wished me goodnight.  I smiled and gave him a quick hug (what can I say?  I’m a hugger!), then scurried over to the box office.  The driver had told me my ticket would be at the Will Call.

I got up to the counter, and an older gentlemen asked my name.

“Nikita Caudill”, I said, voice shaking from nervousness.

“Ah, yes Miss.   We’ve been expecting you.”  He reached under his side of the counter, and pulled out a small manila envelope.  He slid it through the hole in the glass, and smiled.  “Enjoy the show, Miss.”

I thanked him, and turned to head into the theater.  I opened the envelope and saw that the ticket was accompanied by another small note.  I stepped to the side of the queue waiting to get in the theater, and opened the note.

Nik-

Hope you had fun on your little shopping trip.  I can hardly wait to see how beautiful you look.  Well, time to go put on the hump, so I’ll see you after the show.  Come to the stage door after curtain call.  Wish me luck!                                                     Eddie

I closed the note, and smiled.  “Break a leg, Eddie,” I whispered to myself. I put the note in my purse, and got back into line.  When I got up to the usher, he took a look at my ticket, smiled and motioned for another usher to come over.

“Liam, take this lady to the second row, center.”  The usher nodded and crooked his arm to me.  “Enjoy the show, Miss.”

I thanked him and headed into the theater.  The house was nearly full up, and I was really happy to see that there was still a demand for Shakespeare in this time of dreadful revivals and television stars trying to “go legit” by doing theater.

The usher stopped, and extended his arm towards the row where I was supposed to sit.  “Seat 12, Miss.  And would you like me to take your jacket to the VIP coat check?”

VIP coat check?!?

“Um, sure..sure.  Thank you.”  I peeled out of it, and handed it over to him.  He handed me a playbill and hustled towards the back of the theater.  I unbuttoned my suit jacket and took a moment to look at the rest of the house.  The entire floor section was filling up, with the second and third tiers already full.  The sound of the audience, the buzz in the room, was amazing.  I remembered going out before the start of a show and peeking out between the curtains to find friends and family in the crowd, or just to see how full the house was.  Good memories.

I smiled and took my seat.  I looked down at the cover of the playbill, and there was Eddie, looking rather menacing.  “Nice guys always make the best villains,” I thought.  I flipped it open, and read bits of his bio.  It made me chuckle when I saw his role dedication: “To the tyranny of the turny-button.”  The rest of the crowd had filed into the theater, and unfortunately I was sandwiched between a lady wearing a rather musty mink stole that was already wreaking havoc with my allergies and a rather rotund gentleman who decided to bathe in his cologne.

The lights started to dim, and the audience began to applaud.  The show was on.

***************************

11:00 P.M….The show was incredible.  Eddie was surprisingly magnetic as Richard…and that’s not something easy to do.  Despite the hump and the sinister sneer, he evoked a very strong seductive quality.  “Hmmm…Kenneth Branagh has nothing on Eddie,” I thought to myself.   About halfway through the second act, he looked out into the house and caught my stare.  Even from twenty feet away I could see the shock in his eyes.  But professional that he is, he never broke character.  Eddie was so engaging in the role that I even found myself fighting back tears during his death scene.  Oh, and much to my relief, no ringing cell phones either!

When the play ended, it took 5 curtain calls to sate the audience’s raucous applause.  Luckily, Eddie had shed his prosthesis so he looked to be about 20 pounds lighter.  And at least he could now stand upright.  He looked out into the audience and our eyes locked again.  I saw a smile spread across his face, mirroring the one on mine.  But our connection was severed suddenly when the cast was hustled off stage by the crew.

The curtain closed, and the house lights came up.  I stayed in my seat, waiting until the majority of the audience had left.  When it looked like the crowds had dissipated, I got up and headed out to the lobby to get my jacket.  I asked one of the ushers where the VIP coat check was, and he pointed down a hallway to the left of the theater doors.  I headed down that way, and got there just in time to grab my jacket before they locked the room down for the night.

I slid into my coat and headed out of the theater towards the alleyway and the stage door.  On my way, I heard several people compliment the performers, most of them for Eddie.  I felt a surge of pride and happiness.  “So what if I can’t make it…I’m at least glad he is,” I thought, shaking off the cold autumn air.“Anybody but Luke Perry.”

I finally reached the alleyway, and sure enough there were dozens of theater groupies lined up by the door, clamoring for autographs, photos, propositions, whatever.  I kept my distance, and took the time to read the rest of the playbill.  There was an interesting article about Sir John Gielgud, the actor for whom the theater was named, and I remembered how funny he was in “Arthur” as the butler.  How sad that such an accomplished and well-regarded actor will forever be remembered by most Americans as Dudley Moore’s sidekick.

I finished reading the program and glanced at my watch.  It was just now 11:30, so I knew that most of the cast would probably be filing out any minute. I decided to call Ian and see what was going on, but the line was busy.  “Strange,” I thought.  He never talks on the phone this late.  I shrugged and hung up.

I kept one eye on the door and one eye on the street, just to watch the cars go by.  There is something infinitely relaxing about the sound of traffic. After a little while, the door opened and several members of the cast came out, freshly-scrubbed and ready for a night on the town.  The tall blonde who played Anne recognized me and waved, signed a couple of autographs, and came over to me.

“Hi, Nik!” she exclaimed, leaning in and giving me air kisses.  “What did you think of the show?”

“Oh, it was wonderful,” I told her.  “And you don’t need any pointers on that monologue.  You were great.”  She nodded and thanked me.  “Well, we’re all going out to Nobu, and I think Eddie is still in there.”  She was joined by the rest of the posse.  “Talk to you later!  And thanks for coming!”

I waved and yelled out, “No problem!  You guys were great!”  And with that, they were gone.  I looked down at my watch again.  Damn, quarter to twelve.  Where could he be?

Several of the fans who had gotten autographs or photos were filing out, gloating over their programs, talking about whom had hit on whom.  Then, more left.  I was left standing there, my toes slowly growing numb from the cold.  “I knew I should’ve picked out those black boots,” I muttered, rubbing the top of my right foot against the back of my left leg, praying for friction to keep it warm.

I was growing just a little bit impatient at this point.  He said to meet him at the stage door right after the show!  I took the note out of my bag and looked at it.  Yep, right there, “…come to the stage door after curtain call”.  I stuffed it back in my bag, and fighting the knot building in my stomach, I went up and knocked on the stage door.  I knocked so hard, I thought my knuckles would bruise.

“I knew this was too good to be true, I knew this was too good to be true,” I muttered quietly.  I stood there,  and rummaged through my purse looking for my mobile.  I was not going to stand here in a dark alleyway and freeze, that was for damn sure.  I had just gotten a hold of the phone when the door swung open and a very burly, Vinnie Jones-looking guy stepped out.  I gulped. “Uh-oh…what did I do?”

The guy looked down at me and glared.  “Yes, Miss?”

“Um, I-er, I um..I was looking f-for…”

“Speed it up, will ya’?” he barked.

“IWASLOOKINGFOREDDIEIZZARD!” I yelped, suddenly afraid he might go rabid and rip my head off with one swipe of his huge hand.  I recoiled in fear, grasping my purse in front of me like a knight’s shield.

He cocked an eyebrow up at me and pulled a clipboard from behind his back. He looked at the list, then at me, rather suspiciously.  “Wait here. I’ll check and see if he is expecting anyone.”  He turned, and the door slammed behind him.

So there I was, standing all alone in the now deserted alleyway, shaking not only from the cold, but also from the adrenaline rush I had just experienced while praying for my life.  I mean, it’s only a theater, not some rowdy nightclub, for chrissakes.  All I could do was pace, muttering about how I had made a complete mistake, and racking my brain for some kind of story to tell the metro police when they showed up to arrest me for stalking.

“Stop it!” I said to myself.  “You are not doing anything wrong.  If he questions you, just show him the note.” I was getting into a rather heated discussion with myself when I heard the door open, and the behemoth of a security guy stuck his head out.  He had a decidedly more pleasant demeanor now than he had before.

“Sorry about all this, Miss,” he said, smiling at me.  I was amazed to see that he had all his teeth.  He pushed the door open and waved for me to come in.  “Mr. Izzard wants you to wait right here.  Said he’d be out in a tic.”

“O-o-ok,” I replied.  The missing link wandered off, and I took a moment to regain my thoughts.  I pulled my compact out of my purse and powdered my face lightly. I debated on re-applying my lippy, since I really didn’t have the same color Chloe had applied earlier in the day.  My hair was still in one piece, thanks to the strategic application of hairspray.  I popped a couple of Altoids in my mouth, wincing at the strength of the mint.  “Really need to learn not to bite into them,” I thought, jotting down a mental note.

I looked down at my wrist, and noticed it was a few minutes past midnight.  Almost instinctively I let a yawn escape my mouth.  Nine in the morning was a long time ago.

“I hope I’m not keeping you up,” a familiar voice quipped behind me.  I turned, and stood there in awe, jaw hitting the floor.

Eddie had finally decided to appear.  And it was worth the wait.

**************************

“Hello, love,” he said, walking towards me.  He looked amazing.  He was dressed in a radiant royal blue velvet suit (no shirt), black pointy-toed sling backs,  and his hair disheveled ever so fashionably.  He had on full makeup, and tiny gold hoop earrings in each ear.

I know I must have looked like a complete moron, standing there with my mouth hanging open.  I did collect my thought enough to give him a wolf-whistle.

“Ha, glad to see you like the ensemble,” he replied, punctuating the phrase with perfect French.  He threw his arms around me, and pulled me close, planting a long, wet kiss on my lips.  When we finally parted, I brushed a piece of hair off his forehead, and he helped me out of my jacket.

“So, Nik…let’s see the outfit!”

I twirled around quickly, to which I was ordered to show him the outfit properly.  I slid the suit jacket off and flung it over my shoulder, affecting the classic supermodel runway pout, and sashayed back and forth in front of him.  Eddie laughed, and grabbed my arm mid-strut.

“Nik, you look amazing.  When I saw you out in the audience, I nearly lost it,” he confessed, tenderness in his crystal blue eyes.  “How DARE you distract me!”

I laughed, and pulled him in for another hug.  “Well, it didn’t show.”  We smiled at each other, and he took my hand.

“Come on…I want to show you something.”  He started leading me through the tangle of hallways again.

“Do I have to close my eyes again?” I asked, prepared to take off the offending high heeled shoes so as not to ruin my outfit.

He shook his head.  “No, this time you can leave them open.  Besides, you’re a bit of a klutz, and I don’t need to be rushing you to hospital.” I socked him in the arm, and he made a pouting face at me.  I stuck my tongue out at him, and he smiled, continuing towards who knows what.

We came to a stop backstage.  “Hey, hang on…I know where we are!” I chirped.   “But why are we backstage again?”

Eddie turned and wagged his finger at me.  “Didn’t your mother teach you not to question authority?”  I put my hands on my hips and cocked my head. “Ah, yes…she taught you the opposite, didn’t she?”  I nodded.  He smiled, and planted a kiss on my cheek.  “Well, wait here, my little anarchist!” And with that, he disappeared onto the stage.  It was dark, so I had no idea how he could see to do anything.

After a minute or so, I heard a ‘click’, and heard a familiar tune echoing through the empty theater.

“Eddie?” I called to him.

“Hang on, Nik…I’ll be there in just a…There!” I heard him say, a sense of supreme satisfaction reverberating in his voice.  He came backstage and grabbed my hand.  But before he led me out, he hit a switch and soft golden light peeked through from the stage.

“You ready?” he asked, looking as excited as a little boy on Christmas morning.  I nodded, and with that, he escorted me onto the stage.  The golden spotlights were shining down on the stage, almost completely covered in roses the same color as the ones he had given me after my gig at hADRIAN’S.  A bistro table and two chairs were set dead center stage, covered in a white table cloth and a single candle lit in the center.  Small white votives in clear cups lined a path from backstage left to the table, all as the gentle pulse of  “Songbird” (the original, that is) emanated from a small stereo.

I couldn’t hold it in, and I felt the tears starting to well up in my eyes again.  Eddie noticed, and wrapped me in his arms.

“Shhhh, shhhh…don’t do that.  That’s twice in one day.  My self-esteem is really going to go to shit if you keep that up.”  He flashed a tender smile at me, and pulled a hankie from his breast pocket.  He dabbed my eyes gently, and I prayed that my eye makeup hadn’t run.  I managed a smile, and leaned in, kissing him tenderly.

I had finally calmed down, so he led me to the table.  He held my chair out for me,and pushed it in before joining me. He took my hand, and kissed it.

“I really want to thank you for this,” I said softly, placing my other hand over his. “I want to thank you for tonight, today, last night, all of it.  I really don’t deserve all this.  The outfit.  The Necklace!”

Eddie smiled, and flashed those eyes at me again.  “Darling, it was nothing. I owed it to you.  I haven’t felt this good in a long time.  These past couple of days…Well, they’ve been like a godsend.”

“How so?” I inquired.

“It’s just…With this play, and the touring, and the press, and everything. I had become this solitary, plaintive figure.  I didn’t care about anything.   Well, I didn’t have time to, really.”  He looked out at the house reflectively.  “Then I met you, and had the best afternoon I had experienced in a long time.  You brought me out of this self-imposed solitude.  You made me want to be out there, happy, and all that greeting card garbage.”

I chuckled.  “Oh thanks, Nik,” he said, looking a little put off.  “Here I am, trying to be serious, and you’re laughing at me.”

“No!  No, that’s not what made me chuckle.”

He raised an eyebrow at me.  “Well, what was it then?”

I leaned across the table and put my hand against his cheek.  “If that’s greeting card material, that’s the most intelligent one I’ve ever heard.”  He turned his head and kissed the palm of my hand.

“Thank you…I think.”  His smile returned and he got up from the table and walked over to me.  He knelt down, and took both of my hands.  At that moment, I heard another familiar song playing.

“Eddie…Is that what I think it is?  “Something I Dreamed Last Night” ?”  He smiled and nodded.

“How did you know I loved this song?”

He kissed my cheek, then stood up.  I couldn’t help but be distracted by the fact that his, ahem, groin area was right at my eye level.

“Well, I remembered that you said you listened to Coltrane when you wanted to relax,” he started.  “So, I took the liberty of ringing your mate Ian.”

I was shocked out of my lustful haze.  “But how?”

“I called the restaurant and Lydia gave me the number for your flat.” He flashed a wicked grin.

That Lydia, I thought.  “So Ian told you?”

Eddie nodded and reached his hand out to me.  “Yes.  He was quite cooperative.  So, I had one of the ushers pop over to your flat to pick it up just a bit ago.  Care for a dance?”

It took me a minute for it all to sink in.  I made another mental note to thank Ian when I talked to him again.

“Certainly, Mr. Izzard.  I would love this dance.”  So there we were, slow dancing in the middle of an empty theater.  I couldn’t think of any place I would rather be.  I rested my head against his shoulder, and he pulled me closer to him.  Suddenly a thought popped into my head.

“Eddie?”

“Mmmmhhh?”

“What was that bit in your bio…your dedication to “the tyranny of the turny-button?”

He smiled.  “It’s rather hard to explain unless you see an example.”  He spun me around and dipped me.  “How about we discuss it later…in the shower?”  He winked at that remark.

He scooped me back up, and I replied, “Certainly.”  He planted a big, punchy kiss on my forehead and spun us around.

“Then it’s a date!  Oh, but only if you let me try on those lovely shoes you picked out.”

I slugged him in the arm again, and we both burst out laughing.  “You’re right,” he said.  “I think they might be a touch too small.”

And with that, we danced off into the night.

THE END